Essay numero dos

Divorce



DIVORCE…it is just a word in the dictionary with a definition and origin, same as the word ICECREAM; but say the two aloud and focus on the feeling you get, when those simple two syllable words are spoken. For me when I say ice cream I think about Oreos, chocolate, cookie dough, cold, and the word yummmyyyy certainly comes to mind. Then I say Divorce, and I think my parents, fighting, growing up, crying, big family and missing out. At the age of one, my whole was turned upside down, and I did not even know it.
By one my mother and father split, by age two my father re-married and I gained a stepmother and two pain in the ass step brothers, who felt it was their job to make my life a living hell. Everyone says that’s their job as brothers, well I say screw that. This is when things got complicated. I was spending every other weekend with my dad and during the week with my mom, so I was just being shipped back and forth from place to place, like an airplane going from airport to airport. As a little child this was no easy task to cope with. I cried, kicked, screamed and threw fits every time the drop was made. I either did not want to leave my mom or after the weekend was over I did not want to leave my dad. They say the young child gets scared when his or her parents hide behind an object, well imagine them really leaving and you don’t know why. This was my life, a baby nomad, except I had a chauffeur.
Your parents splitting up, no matter the age you are, deeply affect’s a child whether you yourself realize it or not. I become conscious of the influence it had me very early. You see, part of growing up is getting into lots of trouble, being silly, having your parents or guardians taking care of you, you are not supposed to be or act like a grown up when you are little. It is just not part of the job description of a child, but I felt like I had no choice. I had babysitters till I was 12, but they never watched me. I usually found a way to make some sort of dinner, I did my homework, helped my friends out, and did things that I think I was too young to be doing, yet I did anyway. Sad part is, I loved acting like a grown up. Being responsible and having friends, (my stuffed animals) and adults looking to me for help made me feel special. Since my dad had the boys, work and my step mom I felt like there was little time for me, and my mom was always working, sleeping or going on dates; I took care of me. It was fun, being like a big person, but now that I am 22 where has my childhood gone? It is like when those who never go to college and just jump into the real world look back and want to kick their selves in the ass because they did not go, I do the same thing when I think about missing out on the kid experience.
Now I am grown up, I have bills, work and school. Plus I can drive, this gets old real fast; and have so many other responsibilities that I do not want. Every day I wish that I could be a little kid again, and while I know most people do say this, my reasons are different. I want to be a little kid again so I can experience it for the first time. I want to play with bubbles, get dirty, draw on the walls with crayon, but doing such things now are not part of my job. This is what divorce did to me; it stripped me of my childhood and made me feel like a 5 year old going on 25. It took away the rights I had as a youngster, and that’s not fair. DIVORCE, which is defined as a judicial declaration dissolving a marriage in whole or in part, esp. one that releases the husband and wife from all matrimonial obligations, is not just a word to me. It is a painful process that does not only affect those who are the divorcees, but hurts the children involved and can strip a child of her right to be young.